Thursday, January 23, 2014

The Gold Necklace

Born in 1960 she was the third of the four children. Having both an elder sister and a brother made her insignificant in the family or she thought so or she felt so. She always thought having an elder sister is a significant problem like using her old dress, frocks etc. Getting controlled on the usage of talcum powder though these were not great issues at that age it felt like to her. A sense of suffocation or feeling of being forgotten to be pampered she felt it all even though she was ten. There was no way she could express her frustration or confide her feelings. The feeling of being neglected  feeling of being taken for granted & a strong feeling to get back at them. 

It was Vishu and was customary to give some money and new stuff for all the family members, especially the children, the father bought a gold necklace to the eldest girl as she was in her late teens and would soon be married. A full trouser was given to her elder brother. Seeing both the gift she was surprised as she had never seen such exuberant gifts given to anyone. She was the next in line, the next recipient of the gold necklace. She was impatient to flaunt her yet to receive a new necklace to her friends, cousins and the rest of the villagers. She could feel the envious eyes of her friends while the chain sway around her neck while they play, the extra glance she will take while getting ready to go out.  

Her father called her and she went forward expectantly, he kissed her on her forehead and she touched his feet as custom to show respect to him. She raised both of her small shaking arms to get her precious gift, her gold necklace. Her fathers hands were wrapped around it and he put the gift on her expecting hands. She never had thought the cold touch of the any metal could make her so happy. It was a 1 rupee coin. She was crestfallen, betrayed, angry & other emotions which she had never felt in her life till now. It felt she had waited all her life for the necklace. She turned away, taking her gift and an attempt to hide the tears from all the others. She was determined that she will wear the chain, the exact same chain.

A few weeks passed, yet the passion and the intense urge to wear the necklace had not decreased nor had she got an opportunity to take the necklace and try it. She couldn’t bear the urge any longer, she felt like a ticking time bomb which could explode any minute. The next day just while leaving for school, she saw the cupboard was open, she felt like fate has finally understood her and had finally given her what she wanted for weeks. With a slight hesitation, she took the necklace, wore it and gave herself  a momentary glance towards the mirror she left the house. She was happy an emotion which the girl had thought had deserted her for the last few weeks. She showed her friends the necklace boasting about it.  Arranging & rearranging it around her neck so that it will receive the maximum visibility.

It was not the fact she possessed the gold necklace that made her happy, it was the fact everyone thought that and saw it on her neck that made her happy. As she was not accustomed to wearing it, she forgot about her precious almost at the same time she arrived at her school. She studied, worked, ran without being cognizant of the necklace missing around her neck. The bell rang and she was the first to run from her class just to be the first to get out of school and wait for her friends. As soon the friends came, they went towards the farms the shortest path to their house.

Suddenly a shudder passed through her body, she moved her fingers around her neck to get the necklace missing. The little girl collapsed into tears, when her friends asked her why she was crying she told about the missing necklace. They retraced the path all the way back to their schools in search of the necklace, but no luck. The last of the teachers present at the school saw a few girls around the ground and one of them crying so came over to ask what had happened, and they recounted the whole of the story. Teacher assured that she will make an announcement during the assembly next day about it and will ask to give it back to her if anyone had found it.

Still crying the innocent girl and her friends were headed back home and telling the unfortunate event to everyone they see on their way and asked to keep an eye out for it. They even went to the nearby temple and church to pray and tell the priest about it so he could convey it to everyone coming there. Slowly the news of the missing necklace reached her house. The parents were already worried that their daughter had not reached home till now and now they got the news of necklace.

The mother decides to give her a good thrashing went in search of the girl. She had not walked for more than twenty paces and she saw her daughter. As she reached her, the mother threw a tight slap to the girl and pulled her towards the house. But as she pulled something slid of the girl’s shirt. The girl noticed it and called her mother to say that she found the missing necklace. The girl broke free of her mother’s clutches took the necklace and ran towards her house and hid herself behind her father.

By the time mother came to a second round of thrashing the father stopped her and asked her to get the necklace inside and to keep it properly. Then he lifted his daughter and asked her why she did it. She confessed everything to him expecting to get some more beating, but her father started laughing and said “Oh my baby, why do you suppose I bought your sister the necklace? She is not pretty like you she needs such accessories to make her pretty”.

This is all the girl wanted to hear, she was happy. There was not a little bit disappointment inside her for the necklace. She felt foolish to think she took it when she was so pretty in the first place.

PS: This is the little girl mentioned in the story above. This story is dedicated to this little girl, my mother.

With lots of love <3 <3


Saturday, December 14, 2013

Flashes of Life


The afternoon was unusually cold and dry, he hadn’t seen such cold afternoon in more than five decades. He took out his pipe and put in a new batch of tobacco and started smoking. Smoking was one of the habits he had from his teens and he still continued it. He had herd people say it isn't good for health and always wondered “what's wrong with people now a days I am seventy seven and I have been smoking for last fifty god damn years and nothing has happened to me, people just make up such things when they have nothing else to do.”

He was feeling mild discomfort that afternoon and he blamed the cold and dry afternoon for that. He knew a few minutes with his white burley in pipe and all the discomfort is gone and he is good to go and start his work in farm.He loved the first few puff of the white burley it felt the problems also flew away along with the smoke and each smoke made his life simpler. But today it was different that uneasiness was still there, in fact it has increased now the uneasiness has crept down into the abdominal area and with a slight heartburn.

“The damn meat was too rare for me, my woman still don’t know what type of meat I like.” He was sure it was the meat and he have to suffer the heartburn till supper or worst the whole damn night. He had a sudden feeling of light-headedness “ Damn, white burley really is kicking today, may be I used a little too much.” Now the discomfort had completely gone, it was followed by slight pain, pressure, fullness and squeezing of the the chest. The pain was fast spreading to shoulders, arms, neck jaw and teeth. He was panting for breath now. He knew it is neither the cold and dry after noon, or the rare meat or the white burley.

His heart was beating fast, the pie in his hand had fallen down and he was called his wife for help. She came running dressed in an apron and some metal scrubber in her hands she was still cleaning after the lunch. When she saw he was about to fall on the ground holding his chest, she was just in time to support him. She took him inside and called the other people in the house for help.

He was eight, he could hear his parents debating over to send him to his aunts house as they didn’t have food and electric city as his father lost his job with half of the country because of great depression. He still felt that hopelessness which he felt as a kid to leave his family and still that agony was the same.

He was sixteen and was out with a girl for the first time, he was walking her back to her house they had reached her house. He was nervous he was unsure whether to kiss her or not he had never kissed anyone yet, unsure he leaned in to bid a farewell kiss. He kissed her cheeks first she didn’t move, he could smell the light aroma of the talcum powder she had used, slowly he moved towards her lips and so did she. He slowly place his lips over hers, she broke the kiss quickly and as she pulled away slowly they shyly exchanged good byes. She still didn’t meet his eyes.

He remembered the first time they had done it. It was beautiful for both of them and both of them knew they are going to get married someday. It felt wonderful somehow completing him, filling in a void. Making him the special someone to her.

Shortly after it they got married and he was enrolled in military and was send to fight for the country. That was the longest he was away from her. he came back home after four years of war and retiring from the army with ample savings to start a family.

He was twenty four when they were having their first kid. It was a baby boy, he had never seen such a beautiful and healthy boy before. He knew he will do anything and everything in his power to protect the child and to provide him with the best facility.

He was thirty nine and he lost his parents in a accident in his farm, he still blamed himself for that. The same year their first born was going for the first boy girl dance. He had his first father son moment then, he told him about kissing a girl for the first time.Many moments from his life unfurled in front of him, he had no regrets he lived it fully and with dignity. When life gave him lemons he made lemonades out of it.

The noise around him was slowly fading, the light was getting dimmer and then it all went silent.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Some of my favourite quotes

Life is really simple, but we make it complicated. — Confucius

By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflections, which is noblest; Second, by imitation which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest. — Confucius

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. — Salvador Dali

The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination. — Albert Einstein

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of he future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. — Buddha

I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ. — Gandhi

Find a place inside where there is joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. — Joseph Campbell

Hope is a waking dream. — Aristotle

Believe you can and you’re half way there. — T. Roosevelt

The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing. —Socrates

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength , while loving someone deeply gives you courage. — Lao Tzu

To expect the unexpected shows a thoroughly modern intellect. — Oscar Wilde

You may delay, but time will not. — Benjamin Farnlin

Friday, December 6, 2013

Breaking Up

“We should break up” she texted him.
“OK” he replied.
“We can still be friends” she said.
“Yes we can” said my friend.

When I heard this all I could think was I want a sniper and shoot her from point blank. My friend was dumped, it is hard non doubt especially when you get dumped via SMS. After being in a relationship for nearly 4 years and dumping him for another guy that too because of sympathies towards him, that is stupid just plain stupid.

He loved her and treated her like a princess. A movie every week, dinner or lunch dates, her birthdays, paying her phone bills, Valentine’s Day celebrations meeting her ex-boyfriends and being warm and friendly towards them. He flunked out once that year he made sure he came to college every single day so that she won’t feel alone and so that they will be together, who does that? And all he got in return was criticism, complaints of what he didn’t accomplish and her frequent tantrums.

She on the other hand is neurotic, occasionally psychotic, control freak, cry baby, obsessive and sympathizes for every living soul except her boyfriend. I still see no reason why he fell for her, after they started dating all his life was a series of unfortunate events.

Whatever be the occasion he always made it a point to be there for her but also for the people she cared about. I still remember once we went on a trip to a waterfall all of us were enjoying the falls, jumping, playing, swimming etc. But he was nowhere to be seen later I asked him why wasn’t he playing with us and she was the one who answered it “I gave him half an hour to play and that is enough” he is a human for crying out loud not your pet dog. I don’t get how people are inconsiderate and insensitive while acting to be the opposite of that.

Luck is weird, it works in strange ways. In my friend’s case he got dumped. My dear friend your luck saved you from the biggest mistake of your life.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Those awkward moments.

What is life without a few awkward moments, those moment later in life you are going to smile and laugh about with a tint of embarrassment?

There are a few in my life too.

Moment #1, Location: School

It was a regular day in school, I was sitting with my friend in a boring lecture all of a sudden he sneezed and covered his mouth to supress the sound but this gave to a new sound a fart, little prick turned his head towards me and smiled the whole damn class thought I was the one who did it I prayed that I melt that very moment.

Moment #2, Location: Movie Theatre

I along with my girlfriend (Now it is ex… good riddance) went to watch a movie at a local mall. Somewhere during the movie she placed her head on my shoulders and held my hands, wickedly I too reciprocated. Somewhere between the movie I moved my hand around her and held her and she didn’t resist, then I gently pulled her towards me, playfully she resisted I pulled her again. I leaned in with an intention of a kiss and so did she, just a moment before the kiss I burped and she retreated and so did I. needless to say I wasn’t lucky again that day.

Moment #3, Location: Home sweet home.

I was surfing through net to download some new movies, my dad came by me asked me to send him couple of his files as mail to his friend I said sure I will. I opened two tabs one for send his mail and second for torrent, and as I was waiting for the attachment to upload and suddenly the pop up of torrent opened a blonde doing some “stuff” (you know what that is) my dad was shell shocked and so was I. we avoided each other’s gaze for a few min and later I explained how it happened.

These are some moments I still think and laugh about. So what is yours ??

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Interview with God

I was drowning, water was gushing into my lungs. With passing of each second I was dying, I tried to swim but the current was too strong for me. In my feeble voice I cried “Help!!!” none of the friends were hearing my cry. I was sure I was going to die, I was passing out the last though on my mind was “God, to thee I come.”

I opened my eyes, I was lying face down, listening to nothing but silence. I was all alone. Lying on some smooth surface, the surface was neither warm nor cold. The surrounding was in form of some formless white vapour or mist. I thought “Am I dead”. I was wearing some kind of robe, it was white and clean. I have never seen anything as white as my robe and as the surrounding. There was some kind of radiance and then it hit me “I am so dead”.

I called out, only to hear my sound back. I walked alone a path wondering where it will lead. As I didn’t have much to do I thought I will follow the path. I walked for a few minutes and I saw a door some kind of huge ancient door it was white from top to bottom even the door knob was white. Fear was gripping me, my throat was going sore I wanted some water and BAAAM even I could complete my thought on water a jug of water appeared, it scared me even more I thought “How bad it can get, I am already dead”. I took the jug and drank the water, it was the sweetest water I had ever drank, I have never tasted anything like this before. Now there was nothing more to except opening the door. Gathering all my courage I knocked.

“Yes, please come in.” said a voice. The voice was celestial, it was like music, it had a ring in it, it had depth, it had knowledge, it had peace and contend, it had joy and happiness in spite of all it was humble.

I opened the door. I saw a young man around mid-twenties. Six feet tall, black penetrating but kind eyes, broad chest, narrow waist, with a smile in his face revealing his pearl white perfect teeth and wearing a white three piece suit and a red tie. He greeted me like an old friend and asked me to sit. I sat I was mesmerised, stunned how can be someone so handsome and nervously I asked “Are you God?”

With a polite smile He said “People sometimes call me that, I consider myself as your friend, brother, son etc.”
“God, can I ask you some questions?”
“Sure, I will try my best to answer it” he said with a smile.
“Are you the only God? People pray to different God in earth so is it all you?”
“Yes, I am Supreme Personality Of Godhead, all people offer their prayers to different God or they think they do but it all come to me.”
“Ok, why don’t people understand it then? Why are they fighting over You?”
“It is ignorance, they just see the literal meaning of it and they don’t understand the philosophy of knowing me, they twist all the holy books so as to satisfy their whimsical desires. That is the reason they don’t understand me.”
“What is the philosophy of knowing You?”
“It is to know you all the whole universe is part of parcel of me.”
“Ok. We all pray not to put us in tight situations and yet we find ourselves in such situations aging and again, why is that?”
“Well it simple, I want you to change in a good way that is the reason I put you in some tight situation so that you will change in a good way, most of times you don’t so I have to repeat it all over again.”
“How will we know if they change is good or bad isn’t it relative?”
“Sure it is.”
“Then it will vary from person to person, each will think his own view as correct and the other vies as wrong. So how can we determine it?”
“Any decision which you make looking for the greater good and by keeping me in its centre is the only correct perspective.”
“But sometimes keeping you in centre kind of makes it difficult to live by, others think that I am some kind of freak and they turn against me and I will be all alone.”
“May be they will, but on the positive side you have got me don’t you? Whom would you prefer them or Me?”
“Of course You.”
“Also there are many people down there who have dedicated their life for me and who do everything keeping Me in centre, you can always hang around with them, then you won’t feel alone.”
“How can someone always remember you?”
“Its easy, every average human breaths 27,648 times a day, just call out my name the same number of times in a day. So you will be remembering me in each of your breath.”
“Ok. I will surely do that.”
“You promise?”
“I do. But just help me do it.”
“I am always here to help you, never doubt that.”
“What according to You are the qualities one should have?”
“Gratitude, Humility, Love, Compassion, Detachment.
“Why detachment?”
“Else you start to think everything is yours, and you become too used to it and the day that particular thing disappears you become frustrated, annoyed, and angry and you deviate from the good path and engage yourself only to obtain such THINGS”
“Is all this same for all religion?”
“Yes it is.”
“Yet why don’t people understand it?”
“People understand according to their intelligence not all know the subtle meaning.”
“Now this is kind of personal one, can I ask?”
“Sure. Don’t be shy.”
“Am I dead?”
“No you are not.” He said with a smile.
“Is any of our conversation real?”   
“All of them are.”
“Then why can’t all the people talk to you, they go around the world searching for you.”
“They go around the world searching for me that is true, but they forget to look into a place which is the closest”
“Which is that place?”
“Your heart son, you heart.”
“Then how did I get to see you?”
“You called me with all your love, I never ignore someone who call me with all their love, when anyone does that I make sure I am there with him forever.”

I woke up with a jerk, someone was standing over me and pumping the water out from my lungs.
“Welcome back bro, we thought you were dead. We were like Oh God, we have a huge problem.”
With feeble sound I retorted

 “Never ever say that, always say PROBLEM WE HAVE GOD WITH US.”

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Letter from a Mother

Dear son,

By the time you read this letter I will be gone. I won't say don’t be upset, I know you will be. What I am saying is be sensible and pull yourself together, death is inevitable for you and me I was just first on the list. As Martin Luther King Jr. says “A man who won’t die for something is not fit to live.”

You would be wondering what your mother is doing misquoting Martin Luther King Jr. I know I am misquoting him also I know you laugh at when someone is misquoting, well this was just my attempt to make you smile (Hope that works).

First things first always take care of your wife, children and your father. Your father may sometimes act he is all tough and don’t need any help, believe me he will need all the help you can give and is too proud to say that.

Your wife is really a great girl see to it you always take good care of her those will be your precious moments in both of your life. I can see the love in her eyes each time you come home from work. It gives me a great deal of peace of mind to know she will always be there for you. Tell her I love her a lot, in fact, more than you and I never saw her as a daughter in law but always as a daughter and friend.

I will definitely miss your children. Their innocent laughs, silly jokes, pranks, fights in short everything about them. Tell them I will always love them. Both of you are the best parent they could ever good, sometimes I feel you were a better parent than we ever were with you. Always tech them the importance of gratitude and humility because that is what the world wants and not more millionaires and billionaires.

Whom I will miss the most is your father, he gave me the best years of my life. At the start it was never easy to be with him, as time passed by it got easier. He may sometimes act like a fool, be patient with him then. He forgets to take his medicine many a times, always ask him if he had the medicine if not take it and give it to him.

I don’t know where people go after dying, I hope I am going back to God and if I am, I will definitely ask him to give you all a long, healthy, fruitful and beautiful lives.

The bell just rang, it’s probably you and your father from your morning walk. All others are still asleep in their room.  

With lots of love