Flashes of Life

   

The afternoon was unusually cold and dry, he hadn’t seen such cold afternoon in more than five decades. He took out his pipe and put in a new batch of tobacco and started smoking. Smoking was one of the habits he had from his teens and he still continued it. He had herd people say it isn't good for health and always wondered “what's wrong with people now a days I am seventy seven and I have been smoking for last fifty god damn years and nothing has happened to me, people just make up such things when they have nothing else to do.”

He was feeling mild discomfort that afternoon and he blamed the cold and dry afternoon for that. He knew a few minutes with his white burley in pipe and all the discomfort is gone and he is good to go and start his work in farm.He loved the first few puff of the white burley it felt the problems also flew away along with the smoke and each smoke made his life simpler. But today it was different that uneasiness was still there, in fact it has increased now the uneasiness has crept down into the abdominal area and with a slight heartburn.

“The damn meat was too rare for me, my woman still don’t know what type of meat I like.” He was sure it was the meat and he have to suffer the heartburn till supper or worst the whole damn night. He had a sudden feeling of light-headedness “ Damn, white burley really is kicking today, may be I used a little too much.” Now the discomfort had completely gone, it was followed by slight pain, pressure, fullness and squeezing of the the chest. The pain was fast spreading to shoulders, arms, neck jaw and teeth. He was panting for breath now. He knew it is neither the cold and dry after noon, or the rare meat or the white burley.

His heart was beating fast, the pie in his hand had fallen down and he was called his wife for help. She came running dressed in an apron and some metal scrubber in her hands she was still cleaning after the lunch. When she saw he was about to fall on the ground holding his chest, she was just in time to support him. She took him inside and called the other people in the house for help.

He was eight, he could hear his parents debating over to send him to his aunts house as they didn’t have food and electric city as his father lost his job with half of the country because of great depression. He still felt that hopelessness which he felt as a kid to leave his family and still that agony was the same.

He was sixteen and was out with a girl for the first time, he was walking her back to her house they had reached her house. He was nervous he was unsure whether to kiss her or not he had never kissed anyone yet, unsure he leaned in to bid a farewell kiss. He kissed her cheeks first she didn’t move, he could smell the light aroma of the talcum powder she had used, slowly he moved towards her lips and so did she. He slowly place his lips over hers, she broke the kiss quickly and as she pulled away slowly they shyly exchanged good byes. She still didn’t meet his eyes.

He remembered the first time they had done it. It was beautiful for both of them and both of them knew they are going to get married someday. It felt wonderful somehow completing him, filling in a void. Making him the special someone to her.

Shortly after it they got married and he was enrolled in military and was send to fight for the country. That was the longest he was away from her. he came back home after four years of war and retiring from the army with ample savings to start a family.

He was twenty four when they were having their first kid. It was a baby boy, he had never seen such a beautiful and healthy boy before. He knew he will do anything and everything in his power to protect the child and to provide him with the best facility.

He was thirty nine and he lost his parents in a accident in his farm, he still blamed himself for that. The same year their first born was going for the first boy girl dance. He had his first father son moment then, he told him about kissing a girl for the first time.Many moments from his life unfurled in front of him, he had no regrets he lived it fully and with dignity. When life gave him lemons he made lemonades out of it.

The noise around him was slowly fading, the light was getting dimmer and then it all went silent.

Some of my favourite quotes

Life is really simple, but we make it complicated. — Confucius

By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflections, which is noblest; Second, by imitation which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest. — Confucius

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. — Salvador Dali

The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination. — Albert Einstein

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of he future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. — Buddha

I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ. — Gandhi

Find a place inside where there is joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. — Joseph Campbell

Hope is a waking dream. — Aristotle

Believe you can and you’re half way there. — T. Roosevelt

The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing. —Socrates

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength , while loving someone deeply gives you courage. — Lao Tzu

To expect the unexpected shows a thoroughly modern intellect. — Oscar Wilde

You may delay, but time will not. — Benjamin Farnlin

Breaking Up

“We should break up” she texted him.

“OK” he replied.

“We can still be friends” she said.

“Yes we can” said my friend.

When I heard this all I could think was I want a sniper and shoot her from point blank. My friend was dumped, it is hard non doubt especially when you get dumped via SMS. After being in a relationship for nearly 4 years and dumping him for another guy that too because of sympathies towards him, that is stupid just plain stupid.

He loved her and treated her like a princess. A movie every week, dinner or lunch dates, her birthdays, paying her phone bills, Valentine’s Day celebrations meeting her ex-boyfriends and being warm and friendly towards them. He flunked out once that year he made sure he came to college every single day so that she won’t feel alone and so that they will be together, who does that? And all he got in return was criticism, complaints of what he didn’t accomplish and her frequent tantrums.

She on the other hand is neurotic, occasionally psychotic, control freak, cry baby, obsessive and sympathizes for every living soul except her boyfriend. I still see no reason why he fell for her, after they started dating all his life was a series of unfortunate events.

Whatever be the occasion he always made it a point to be there for her but also for the people she cared about. I still remember once we went on a trip to a waterfall all of us were enjoying the falls, jumping, playing, swimming etc. But he was nowhere to be seen later I asked him why wasn’t he playing with us and she was the one who answered it “I gave him half an hour to play and that is enough” he is a human for crying out loud not your pet dog. I don’t get how people are inconsiderate and insensitive while acting to be the opposite of that.

Luck is weird, it works in strange ways. In my friend’s case he got dumped. My dear friend your luck saved you from the biggest mistake of your life.

Those awkward moments.

What is life without a few awkward moments, those moment later in life you are going to smile and laugh about with a tint of embarrassment?

There are a few in my life too.

Moment #1, Location: School

It was a regular day in school, I was sitting with my friend in a boring lecture all of a sudden he sneezed and covered his mouth to supress the sound but this gave to a new sound a fart, little prick turned his head towards me and smiled the whole damn class thought I was the one who did it I prayed that I melt that very moment.

Moment #2, Location: Movie Theatre

I along with my girlfriend (Now it is ex… good riddance) went to watch a movie at a local mall. Somewhere during the movie she placed her head on my shoulders and held my hands, wickedly I too reciprocated. Somewhere between the movie I moved my hand around her and held her and she didn’t resist, then I gently pulled her towards me, playfully she resisted I pulled her again. I leaned in with an intention of a kiss and so did she, just a moment before the kiss I burped and she retreated and so did I. needless to say I wasn’t lucky again that day.

Moment #3, Location: Home sweet home.

I was surfing through net to download some new movies, my dad came by me asked me to send him couple of his files as mail to his friend I said sure I will. I opened two tabs one for send his mail and second for torrent, and as I was waiting for the attachment to upload and suddenly the pop up of torrent opened a blonde doing some “stuff” (you know what that is) my dad was shell shocked and so was I. we avoided each other’s gaze for a few min and later I explained how it happened.

These are some moments I still think and laugh about. So what is yours ??

Interview with God

I was drowning, water was gushing into my lungs. With passing of each second I was dying, I tried to swim but the current was too strong for me. In my feeble voice I cried “Help!!!” none of the friends were hearing my cry. I was sure I was going to die, I was passing out the last though on my mind was “God, to thee I come.”

I opened my eyes, I was lying face down, listening to nothing but silence. I was all alone. Lying on some smooth surface, the surface was neither warm nor cold. The surrounding was in form of some formless white vapour or mist. I thought “Am I dead”. I was wearing some kind of robe, it was white and clean. I have never seen anything as white as my robe and as the surrounding. There was some kind of radiance and then it hit me “I am so dead”.

I called out, only to hear my sound back. I walked alone a path wondering where it will lead. As I didn’t have much to do I thought I will follow the path. I walked for a few minutes and I saw a door some kind of huge ancient door it was white from top to bottom even the door knob was white. Fear was gripping me, my throat was going sore I wanted some water and BAAAM even I could complete my thought on water a jug of water appeared, it scared me even more I thought “How bad it can get, I am already dead”. I took the jug and drank the water, it was the sweetest water I had ever drank, I have never tasted anything like this before. Now there was nothing more to except opening the door. Gathering all my courage I knocked.

“Yes, please come in.” said a voice. The voice was celestial, it was like music, it had a ring in it, it had depth, it had knowledge, it had peace and contend, it had joy and happiness in spite of all it was humble.

I opened the door. I saw a young man around mid-twenties. Six feet tall, black penetrating but kind eyes, broad chest, narrow waist, with a smile in his face revealing his pearl white perfect teeth and wearing a white three piece suit and a red tie. He greeted me like an old friend and asked me to sit. I sat I was mesmerised, stunned how can be someone so handsome and nervously I asked “Are you God?”

With a polite smile He said “People sometimes call me that, I consider myself as your friend, brother, son etc.”

“God, can I ask you some questions?”

“Sure, I will try my best to answer it” he said with a smile.

“Are you the only God? People pray to different God in earth so is it all you?”

“Yes, I am Supreme Personality Of Godhead, all people offer their prayers to different God or they think they do but it all come to me.”

“Ok, why don’t people understand it then? Why are they fighting over You?”

“It is ignorance, they just see the literal meaning of it and they don’t understand the philosophy of knowing me, they twist all the holy books so as to satisfy their whimsical desires. That is the reason they don’t understand me.”

“What is the philosophy of knowing You?”

“It is to know you all the whole universe is part of parcel of me.”

“Ok. We all pray not to put us in tight situations and yet we find ourselves in such situations aging and again, why is that?”

“Well it simple, I want you to change in a good way that is the reason I put you in some tight situation so that you will change in a good way, most of times you don’t so I have to repeat it all over again.”

“How will we know if they change is good or bad isn’t it relative?”

“Sure it is.”

“Then it will vary from person to person, each will think his own view as correct and the other vies as wrong. So how can we determine it?”

“Any decision which you make looking for the greater good and by keeping me in its centre is the only correct perspective.”

“But sometimes keeping you in centre kind of makes it difficult to live by, others think that I am some kind of freak and they turn against me and I will be all alone.”

“May be they will, but on the positive side you have got me don’t you? Whom would you prefer them or Me?”

“Of course You.”

“Also there are many people down there who have dedicated their life for me and who do everything keeping Me in centre, you can always hang around with them, then you won’t feel alone.”

“How can someone always remember you?”

“Its easy, every average human breaths 27,648 times a day, just call out my name the same number of times in a day. So you will be remembering me in each of your breath.”

“Ok. I will surely do that.”

“You promise?”

“I do. But just help me do it.”

“I am always here to help you, never doubt that.”

“What according to You are the qualities one should have?”

“Gratitude, Humility, Love, Compassion, Detachment.

“Why detachment?”

“Else you start to think everything is yours, and you become too used to it and the day that particular thing disappears you become frustrated, annoyed, and angry and you deviate from the good path and engage yourself only to obtain such THINGS”

“Is all this same for all religion?”

“Yes it is.”

“Yet why don’t people understand it?”

“People understand according to their intelligence not all know the subtle meaning.”

“Now this is kind of personal one, can I ask?”

“Sure. Don’t be shy.”

“Am I dead?”

“No you are not.” He said with a smile.

“Is any of our conversation real?”   

“All of them are.”

“Then why can’t all the people talk to you, they go around the world searching for you.”

“They go around the world searching for me that is true, but they forget to look into a place which is the closest”

“Which is that place?”

“Your heart son, you heart.”

“Then how did I get to see you?”

“You called me with all your love, I never ignore someone who call me with all their love, when anyone does that I make sure I am there with him forever.”

I woke up with a jerk, someone was standing over me and pumping the water out from my lungs.

“Welcome back bro, we thought you were dead. We were like Oh God, we have a huge problem.”

With feeble sound I retorted

 “Never ever say that, always say PROBLEM WE HAVE GOD WITH US.”

Letter from a Mother

Dear son,

By the time you read this letter I will be gone. I won't say don’t be upset, I know you will be. What I am saying is be sensible and pull yourself together, death is inevitable for you and me I was just first on the list. As Martin Luther King Jr. says “A man who won’t die for something is not fit to live.”

You would be wondering what your mother is doing misquoting Martin Luther King Jr. I know I am misquoting him also I know you laugh at when someone is misquoting, well this was just my attempt to make you smile (Hope that works).

First things first always take care of your wife, children and your father. Your father may sometimes act he is all tough and don’t need any help, believe me he will need all the help you can give and is too proud to say that.

Your wife is really a great girl see to it you always take good care of her those will be your precious moments in both of your life. I can see the love in her eyes each time you come home from work. It gives me a great deal of peace of mind to know she will always be there for you. Tell her I love her a lot, in fact, more than you and I never saw her as a daughter in law but always as a daughter and friend.

I will definitely miss your children. Their innocent laughs, silly jokes, pranks, fights in short everything about them. Tell them I will always love them. Both of you are the best parent they could ever good, sometimes I feel you were a better parent than we ever were with you. Always tech them the importance of gratitude and humility because that is what the world wants and not more millionaires and billionaires.

Whom I will miss the most is your father, he gave me the best years of my life. At the start it was never easy to be with him, as time passed by it got easier. He may sometimes act like a fool, be patient with him then. He forgets to take his medicine many a times, always ask him if he had the medicine if not take it and give it to him.

I don’t know where people go after dying, I hope I am going back to God and if I am, I will definitely ask him to give you all a long, healthy, fruitful and beautiful lives.

The bell just rang, it’s probably you and your father from your morning walk. All others are still asleep in their room.  

With lots of love

                                                                                                                         Mom.

Types of Love.

What is love ? Sometimes we all think about this
Great writers, poets and philosophers have all tried to decipher it some succeeded many didn't. CS Lewis in his book The Four Loves. Affection (storge), Friendship (philia), Romance (Eros), Unconditional Love (Agape). 

Affection: It is fondness on people of our family or on people we accidently meet.The second one is pretty cool, I accidently met two world travellers Rimvydas & Nopal Ito about one year ago while travelling and I developed a kind of affection with both of them till today we are still in touch (presently they are in Australia planning their next big adventure). 

Friendship: This is very unique, starts with common interest or for some favours or help from people around us, later buds into friendship which lasts for a lifetime (unless one of them goof ups). True friendship is almost becoming rare "decet rara" as the latins would say.  Lewis goes on to say, "to the Ancients, Friendship seemed the happiest and most fully human of all loves; the crown of life and the school of virtue. The modern world, in comparison, ignores it"

Romance: What better way to start than by quoting Shakespeare
                                              Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind,
                                             And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.
                                                  (A Midsummer Night's Dream )
Everyone say this hardly anyone follow it anymore. I think there is no lucky person, than the one who loves his/her best friend. If the relationship goes south it may end up you be alone, but if blossoms nothing will be more appealing than this.  What we should able to differentiate is the being in love with a person and wanting a person. the second won't be called as romance it will be lust (though many will disagree). Romance is fulfilling lust is not.

Unconditional Love: This is perhaps the best of all and is a divine virtue found in us. Here we help people regardless who are they are without expecting even gratitude in return.If people all around the world could develop this, may be world will be a better place to live. 

To end I will quote a opening paragraph form a movie The Holiday.

"I have found almost everything ever written about love to be true.  Shakespeare said, ''Journeys end in lovers meeting. '' What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that...but I'm more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should I'm constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said, ''Love is blind. '' Now, that is something I know to be true. For some, quite inexplicably... Love fades. For others...love is simply lost. But then, of course, love can also be found. Even if just for the night. And then there's another kind of love. The cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims.  It's called unrequited love."

How he got a YES !!

                                                       IMAGE COURTESY : GOOGLE IMAGES


 People always say a boy and a girl can never be only friends, they eventually fall in love and be in a committed fruitful relationship or fall in love and fuck up their friendship. I always thought it was BS, it’s not though.

Following is the conversation from the movie Harry met Sally
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way. 
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved. 
Harry Burns: No you don't. 
Sally Albright: Yes I do. 
Harry Burns: No you don't. 
Sally Albright: Yes I do. 
Harry Burns: You only think you do. 
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge? 
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you. 
Sally Albright: They do not. 
Harry Burns: Do too. 
Sally Albright: They do not. 
Harry Burns: Do too. 
Sally Albright: How do you know? 
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her. 
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive? 
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too. 
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU? 
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story. 
And that's the truth in a nutshell. Men and women can never be friends with someone they find attractive, if they are they aren't really good friends.

It’s really true, men never go and talk to women unless they find them attractive many will tell that it is not true, but this is true they may or may not know about it.

Michael Jackson said: "If one can become your best friend, then he or she can easily become your life partner"


I had two friends a boy and a girl, they were best friends. They knew each other for 3 years everyone in our college thought they were together. When they start talking they just forget the whole world around them. Everyone knew they like each other, everyone but them. Everyone knew one day or another they were going to end up together.

I asked the him once "didn't you just want to be friends with her so that you can propose her?"
He said "no, I am very comfortable with her, I enjoy talking with her than you guys."
I then asked him" then why are you uncomfortable when some other boy talk with her?"
"I don't know why, was it so obvious?"
"why do you think all of our friends tease you, remember the day when we all came to your place, she was with us but the moment she saw you she to  became a host and both of you were acting like you were married, it was so cute."
"Don’t mess with my head bro!!! We didn't do anything like that."
"Yeah were all are blind... our bad."
He gave me a cold expression and punched me, I am sure the moment he turned he blushed and was happy about this.

I still remember a guy her out and he was shit scared if she will say yes and i was laughing like hell seeing his plight. They were talking for about half hour and he was shitting over his pants, then at last he called her on her and asked some stupid thing so she could come over. The girl started to realise he is having some strong feelings for her and my foolish friend didn’t understand his own feelings.

She gave him many clues and he didn’t get it or was afraid to admit it. She decided then she will play with him and make him tell. She said to him that she is going out for a movie with a guy. She did it so perfectly, she left it there she didn’t say the name of the guy. He tried to ignore it and utterly failed in it. By the end of the day he was pissed as he repeatedly asked the name and she wouldn’t give.

While heading back home she said it was me, who she was going out for movie. I was shell shocked but I wanted him to realise he has feeling for her so I said “I am sorry, she is really a good girl I want to go out with her.” Believe me if he had something in his hand I would had a fractured skull that day.

Next day was his birthday, needless to say he was not in a great mood to celebrate. I asked him “why are you so angry, it’s your birthday bro.”
“You know why, don’t act like a retard.”
I burst into laughter. “What is so funny, is my anger making you laugh you piece of shit.”
“Bro, we didn’t go to a movie. We were just playing with you just to make you realise you have feeling for her. I am your friend I wouldn’t do this to you.”
The moment I said this he hugged me. He realised he loved her like hell and so did I. I always thought it was just attraction but it was not. It had depth, depth which I never knew existed.

He was a complete different person we three had a small celebration, while going back he did something which no one expected him to.

While going back in train we all got down, I was waiting for him, he was so busy talking. Then as the train was leaving the station, all I heard was a high pitched voice screaming “YES”.

I asked him what it was all about.
“You are my best friend and you knew how I felt for her and you didn’t go out with her, but not everyone is going to be that way, so just to make sure no one does it again instead of asking her out, I proposed her and she said yes.”
Saying this he walked with a big simple on his face. I was shocked the guy who didn’t knew he had feelings for the girl, proposed her he is crazy and the girl said yes she too is crazy.
All I could think was love really does make the world go wild.

PS:
Its 3 years after this incident they are still together and talking to their family about their engagement.

Love hurts…. Sometimes.

In India you can never marry a girl or boy just because you love each other. First both the parents should accept. Then further their photos are passed through the whole of family (maternal and paternal uncles etc.) and any other people who are remotely related with them. Even the blurry visioned grandparents are asked to check the photograph. And all of them inquire about the family background, financial stability and other BS before giving their view.

Then comes the astrologer, they are the one who pass the final verdict, whether or not they can be married by looking at the horoscope if it’s a no from him then that is it, they are screwed. To reach till above stage there are many prerequisites you should be of same state, religion, caste, sub caste. If any of these are not a match then you have literally wage a war for the acceptance or elope.

There are many people I know who trying to fight all the odds so that they can be with the one whom they love. Sometimes the situation becomes so bad they have to choose parents or lover. This will definitely ends badly for everyone.

Most families are very fearful of the opinion of the society. How the society will look if their child is marrying someone they love.They feel people will blame them for this or say they were not very good at parenting. 

From the time we can remember we are taught to love everyone. So what if we are loving particular person more than the others.Why does the parents feel loving someone is like betraying their trust and disrespecting them? Why do they put children in a tight spot of choosing between them and the lover? They don’t get if the children choose the parents they may end up resenting them for the rest of their lives.

Worst are the people who are loving someone but they know if the time comes to choose between parents and lover they going choose their parents. I don't say it’s wrong, but then you are making a person go through hell just for you and you slap him/her right on the face.

Once I did asked my parents “What if I love someone?”

Parents: “Don’t when you are of age we will find a nice girl for you.”

Me: “In your dreams people, in your dreams”

And I walked away. 

Love is the most beautiful thing anyone can have in their lives, but some times it does hurt !

What is happiness?

                                                                Image Courtesy : Google Images

Webster tells us that happiness is "the emotion evoked by success or by the prospect of possessing what one desires." I wanted to complete some work today which I did and I was happy for about an hour for completing it. Then I wanted to eat a pizza, I ordered one and ate it. I was happy for some time.

It’s clear once we acquire something we wanted the happiness soon fades away and we are back to the dissatisfied self. Many say to be happy we have to give up our desire, giving up desire means giving up our life. We have to desire but for the right things.

Suppose I am a diabetic and all I desire is to eat sweet am I not a fool? The reason I am fool is I am desiring for the wrong thing, the very thing that can kill me. What is desire is equally important as desire itself.

The very nature of human comes from the soul and the very nature of the soul is “sat-chit-ananda” always happy at heart. And we look for it at all wrong places and things. It’s right inside us in our heart.

In ancient Vedas it is said “When you make the resolve, you become eligible immediately. When you maintain your eligibility through your deeds, you get the positive results in terms of happiness, achievements, satisfaction etc. When you see the positive results, your faith increases further and you enhance your deeds even more. When the faith becomes unflinching, you achieve the ultimate truth or bliss.”(Yajurveda 19.30)

It is hard no doubt about it but it’s totally worth it. Well who doesn't want to happy all we have to do take a higher route transcend the seven sins, have no attachment to worldly objects and the most Important loose our ego. Now we are good to go.

Let us all try and be happy truly happy.  

Stupid Heart

"The heart was made to be broken"

—Oscar Wilde

You are one of my favourite writer but seriously this is some serious BS. No one likes a broken heart not you or me or any person. But we have or shares of broken hearts and the special one is the first one, the one where we thought (most of us) this is the end of the world. I too had mine share.

During my first in year in junior college I was very serious about the studies (towards the start by the time in ended I was back to normal) and I sat with a bunch of people who were very eager to study or so I thought so I joined them on the first few benches.

The first few days we actually did some study later on we just ogled the girl’s row beside us. There were a particular group of three girls who I ogled the most and I developed a soft corner towards two of them. Luckily a couple of them opted for German as me so it gave me an opportunity to talk to them. Both of them were nice girl one was much more talkative and friendly than the other so I was more drawn to the other girl.

Every aspect of her physical character drew me towards her suntanned skin, narrower facial shape, slender figure longer and darker lashes & higher cheek bones. I confided this to one of the guys he added fuel to the fire saying you to would look good together and other such pretty stuff which makes you more attracted towards her.

This news had spread around our group and they started teasing me whenever I was around her particularly one guy.  A couple of weeks later I missed a few days of college on account of my health and they day I returned I was told she started dating one of my friends. Remember the guy who teased me the most; it was him.

Was it awkward? Yes it was. Was it awkward for a long time? No it was not. Why? Because she ditched him. Was I happy? Secretly yeah. A year passed were all in 12th grade now. I again started developing a soft corner towards her and again I confided it to one of my friend, who later starting dating her for a couple of months.

This became a pattern even when we were in Degree College. I didn’t want to be another martyr and kicked my feeling out. One day I did say to her about my feelings I HAD for her she smiled and so did I.

“Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.” 
― Kahlil Gibran


I was then I realised the wise words of Khalil Gibran none of them had any depth in it. It always takes the right girl/boy for us to understand the depth. If you ask if I understand what depth is now? I would say “Yes I do.”

When the eunuch chased us !!!!

     (Image Courtesy : Google search. I am thinking this would our face looked like while running for life :P )

This was one of the wacky and horrifying experience of childhood.

During school me and a friend of mine had a ritual, after the last day of the exam we used to treat ourselves and used to hang out before going home for the big break of two months. And we did this every year.

We were in fifth or sixth grade we finished our exams and ran towards the bus to get window seats. Sitting there we used to tease the losers who would follow us (those who didn't get the window seats), we felt like kings going home after a war. A war which we knew we have won. As the bus starts we played hand cricket (sounds kind of lame now, yet I admit I sometimes still play it). Ours was the last stop which gave us about forty-five minutes that was more than enough to complete a three to five match series.

We got down loitered for some time and were on our way to home. We grabbed a couple of cold samosas and a bottle of coke and relished them by the road laughing loud at stupid jokes and playing a game of farts ( who farts the most, yes it’s kind of sick now were eleven stop judging us :P ). A few of parents were accompanying their kindergarten children somewhere and they were looking at us with disgust and we gladly returned it.

The samosas were done and so was the coke now it was time for Popsicle/pepsi cola. We always bought this popsicle whenever either of us had some changes in the pockets. But today was the last day we wanted to go full scale so we needed ten five for each and we had just 5 bucks in over pockets, which will suffice to buy only 5 so a bit sad we went to get it. I handed the money to the shopkeeper and asked us to get it. He knew us quite well and asked me to take it from the fridge.

I didn't waste any time I knew this is the opportunity steal another five. I asked my friend to stand behind the freezer so I could “accidentally spill” a few to him. I opened it and dived in for the coldest one and our luck I got the best flavors (the one with milk in them) I didn't waste any time and passed it on to my friend. Who hid it inside his bag and moved away the looked at us I said I am not getting the flavor I want so he came and gave us the orange one. We took it and left the shop. We were so damn happy not because we stole 5 of the best but we conned the man. We sat by a building and had them.

After all the eating it was time for one last ritual go behind the building and just open the air valve of a couple of cycles. We went in by jumping a small wall into the parking space of the building selected a couple of cycles and took turns in opening the valve while the other stood on guard.

The last of the ritual was done it was time bid farewell and go home we will only meet after a gap of two months. We did our secret hand shake one of us I guess me missed one of the steps of the handshake. My buddy was pissed and just was about to leave he threw a pebble on me, it hit me hard. I retaliated with a bigger one and I missed, I threw again and again he dodged it. I took a bigger one and was about to throw it and he said “see a couple of eunuch standing behind you” (he used some slang for the word eunuch) and unfortunately they herd him and they headed towards us.

We didn't waste a micro second we ran towards his home (it was nearer than mine) and they too broke into a run. The distance was about two hundred meters which can reach easily under normal circumstances but we were on the clock now. At some point I outran him and that little shit dragged me back (till today he says he never did such an act) so were level again. The road was deserted as it was 2 in the noon and most of the people were either at their office or enjoying siesta. Somehow we managed to get inside his building now we have to run till the fourth floor. Those eunuch were right behind us. On the way up both of us banged a few doors so that some people would least see us and help us but we kept running not waiting to see if the doors were opened or not. I did open so the eunuch speed was considerably slowed almost at halt as many doors popped opened. We were victorious and we reached his home. And I called my mom and she reached then we recounted the tale to both of them skipping many parts. Both of us were still shaking that luckily helped us from not getting grounded. I was feeling safe with my mother and then left to my place.

Even after this incident we continued all our tradition till the last exam of our school life.

PS:

We are still in touch after 12 years of this incident and he is presently working in a Bank and getting a fat paycheck and he is single (He asked me not to mention all this still I am doing it) anyone want to meet him do contact me :P :P :P.

Also if I am not blogging tomorrow that’s because he have killed me. :P

Lots of love. Take care everyone.

The girl I met 5 times.

I was eleven, when I saw you first. Something in my chest was going bonkers that’s when I knew heart sometimes can act like crazy but I still didn't know why it was acting this way. Was it because of you? Or I was just dying. I didn't care which one was it as long as I was seeing you. I was just momentarily distracted by all this thought, but felt like I missed a lifetime without seeing you.

We were at the movie theatre  and I barely saw the movie all I want was to see you. I wanted us to talk but I didn't know what to say or how will you respond and above all I didn't wanted you to know I was staring at you. As the movie was ending I was feeling down. I didn't know when we are going to meet you again, that thought was killing me. After the movie we all went back and I was thinking about you for the remainder of the day. I soon forgot about you but occasionally I still thought of you.

It was almost a year later we met again. You have grown into a more beautiful girl, I still wonder how that was even possible? But it sure did, one of the many wonders of God I guess. You were more vibrant than ever. Your face was emitting some kind of glow making your face look angelic. I don’t know why but when you smiled I did along with you.

I had to wait for almost two years before I meet you again. This time it was different, you were no longer a small girl. You were slowly turning into a woman a beautiful woman. This time too we didn't talk. This time after going home I tried to find more about you, though I didn't much but I knew you love to read. I too started to read thinking this will bring us closer, it never did but id at least take my mind off you.

I waited for another two years before I met you again and then another one year for one more meeting. All of them were more or the same. I sat or walked around watching you while you were with your friends laughing and talking. I almost felt like a stalker though I never intentionally met you. Some of your habits were really amusing me. Like you tuck your hair on back of your ears as every time you make a sudden movement of your head it came down. Pull your ear when you are bored.

And after a gap of two and half year we met again and for the last time. I still remember how you looked, it was beauty personified. You were no longer a girl any more you were a woman. You wore a beautiful black dress, with your pixie haircut, a black handbag. This time we had a conversation. I accidentally (well by accidentally I mean purposefully) bumped into you and you dropped your bag. I said I am sorry and you retorted by saying it wasn’t mine fault and it was yours as you didn't look around while walking and you smiled and blew my mind and we walked apart.

It’s been 4 years that we last met. I still sometimes think and cherish these memories, it’s all that is left. Some times when I am at the mall I just take a look around to see if you are there and smile at myself for doing it. 

Where I divorced my parents :P

This is so far the best con I have ever pulled off. It happened about two years ago during one of the semester exams. If I recall correctly it was Mechanical Vibrations one of the toughest papers in Mechanical Engineering. The preparation done by me was mediocre, enough to scrape by a 40 or so I thought.

On the day of examination just to ensure we are covering all the necessary topics we (me and couple of my friends) decided to board an early morning train to our college even though the paper was to start by 3 pm. There was no place to sit in the whole of campus even the library was full. So we decided to go to the terrace and prepare for the paper.

For the first one hour it was great then as the day progressed I had a gut feeling that there is no use of studying and we are going to flunk the paper and I gave up but my comrades didn't. Another fifteen minutes passed I heard an enormous swear and I knew they too had given up. They started planning one of their night out plan which whisky to buy, how much should they buy, what should be the side dish to go along with it . I don't know about these things so I sat herd their various arguments had my lunch and prepared to be doomed.

It was almost three we were on our way down to check which classroom we are going to sit for the exam on way down many of our classmates were trying to mug up various formulas and other stuff. I smiled, somehow I knew the end result of the people who prepared and us was going to be same. We saw the list fortunately all of us were in the same room, the rooms beside the exam department.

The examiner came in with the answer sheets and the question papers and distributed to all the students in there. I glanced through the paper and then turned my heads towards my friends and then around the classroom the expression on each and every face was same a blank or vacant look everyone knew there was no in hell they are going to clear that paper. Yet as a desperate attempt they started to scribble the paper with what little they knew.

Meanwhile I was just waiting to get out of the room. Just so I won't sleep and to kill the time I started making logos of various cars on my question paper sheet and right about I finished my third figure of Mercedes the exam squad walked inside the class. I knew if they were going to see my sketch on paper I was screwed and I tried best to hide it, but alas!!! Luck didn't favour me the only paper they checked was mine. I was shouted at by the squad for being such irresponsible, at a point I lost my cool ad retorted by saying something and I was asked to leave the class and they took me to the examination department.

They opened my answer sheet only to find just one answer scribbled in and then followed by 38 blank pages. Shouting started again and said

"Give me your father's number."

Me: “He doesn't use a mobile."

They: "Then give his office number."

Me: "He is retired and he is at home."

They: "Give me your mothers' number."

Me: "There is no use calling her. They are not together anymore."

(This was where my whole con started. My mom is staying at our place in Kerala and I and my dad are here in Mumbai so technically speaking they were not together. But the on duty staff took it as they are divorced which is what exactly I wanted.)

The moment I said that I had a few tears in my eyes. The people in the room were stunned, hell even I was stunned. I knew I pulled it off, all that was left to do was apologize for my behaviour and I knew I will be walking out of the room scot free.

That exactly what happened. I was asked not to write that paper. None of my friends cleared this paper and neither did majority of other students. Till date this was the toughest paper for that subject.

PS: I apologize to the staff for doing such a thing but that was the only thing that would have saved me that day. Lots and love and respect to all of you.

First Year Engineering

This is perhaps the most memorable year of all Engineering students  from Mumbai University and from my college Yadavrao Tasgoankar Institute Of Engineering And Technology or now we say "Sabse Junnawala Tasgoankar" meaning oldest college in campus as there are 3 colleges in the campus. Its been 5 years after my First Year and I still remember it vividly each and every special moment.

Like most students I was an average student and pretty confident that I am easily going to complete my Degree and will pass out with flying colors..... I have never been so wrong in my whole life !!!  

I was well prepared for the first day of college got up early, wore what I thought would look great on me went to the nearby train station (Thakurli) quite for boarding the train (I was not that eager its just because if we miss a train there is no train for an hour or so). I was later joined by a few of my friends from my Junior College we all were pretty happy about opting for engineering. One of the guy was from Bio-Medical we made a bit fun of him as we all were feeling macho as were from Mechanical (The Bio-Med guy got the job first). In first year saw most of us enter with desire, determination and a willingness to work and learn (yes, imagining that I had ever felt that  is way absurd now). 

It was around an hour journey in train and we reached our destination Bhivpuri Road and walked for a few min to the bus stop. There was no sign of bus and it was getting crowded by the minute, right about that time a couple of bus came the crowd went wild just like a pack of hyenas as they drag in their prey. It was an absolute mayhem, we some how managed to get in the bus and grab a couple of seats too.

Bhivpuri during monsoon looks exotic there is greenery everywhere vast farmlands, huge waterfalls, a muddy river flowing and just besides the river was our college. It looked absolutely marvelous (and in around half hour we are going to learn looks can be pretty deceiving).

We went to the notice board where the class of each student is shown and alas mine and one of my friends name is not there in the whole list. We had to go to almost all the people starting from the office assistants to the principal to sort of this. 

Then the life became a hell lot of monotony college... pvt classes...home...sleepless nights for completion of assignments and yet somehow my assignments were never complete. At last it was semester I exams and the very first papers was Applied Maths I. My memory of this paper is blacked out all I could tell was three things

1) Examiner who was there was really a piece of work, he said you are going to fail in this paper to a couple of my friends during the duration of the examination 

2) I was exploring various function on my scientific calculator

3) I was damn sure I was going to fail

And it was during one of the papers I started playing a football after a longtime and still continue it.

A long 90+ day wait and it was result day I was confident I was going to clear all papers except Applied Maths I and I cleared for about half and hour. Later I was told I checked result of some other guy and I flunked in 5 of 6 papers.

I was devastated. There were many people who I thought of as retards cleared most of the papers. Then came the second semester all I did then was play football with my friends and I made my way to attendance defaulter's list. Our Professors asked us to donate books of those subjects in which we had low attendance. This led to an uproar among student and one of the guy organised a "STOP THE BUS" campaign we all went and stood on front of the bus not allowing it move an inch. This civil disobedience lasted for about half hour by then teachers had come and took the guy leading it to principals office needless to say the rest of us ran for our life and eventually brought our parents to our college.

Celebrated lot of days chocolate day,tie day, traditional day each day a very unique memory. Made many new friends. After the monotonous routine of College....Pvt Classes...Home...Sleepless Nights  it was semester II exams. I had 11 papers of which had to clear 7 or more to pass and go to to second year. I did everything i could yet managed only to clear 6 papers so that was it a long year in college followed by a gap year.Many of my friends scraped through into next year only to take a gap year after that.

This was how my  First Year Engineering ended though not a happy ending enjoyed every moment of it.

Dedicate to all my mates from my college making college life best part of life.   

Is blood really thicker than water ???

The proverb "blood is thicker than water" is used to imply that family ties (blood) are always more important (thicker) than the ties you make among friends (water). It generally means that the bonds of family and common ancestry are stronger than the bonds between unrelated people (such as friendship).

Is that really the case ??

I don't think so. For me my friends are my family well that doesn't mean I hate my family (both maternal and paternal sides) some of them I do hate.The propaganda that the members of family, some total stranger you share a fragment of your genes is more important rather than the other people in your life is nothing but a fallacy a well spread fallacy.If people think its true then...this is for you..

In major part of my life its my friends or so called water connections are the ones who have guarded my blind side than my relatives and its not anyone fault. We just have grown apart over the years. Thanks to social networking sites there is a slight chance we may come closer again.

But friends I can't imagine how it will be without them around, my world will be a hellhole without them and so will most peoples life.

"Friends are god's apology for relations"— Hugh Kingsmill
Completely agree with him.

Dedicated to all friends both old and new.  

Degree vs Knowledge ??

During the mid 2000 the manufacturers of Cheetos had a novel idea of including Tazzo in the pack. It was a great hit and the sales went of the roof (probably). Later the Tazzos were of much values to the kids bought it for Taazos rather than for the chips. That is the case of education today people are madly running after a lot of degrees but on they way loosing the essence which is the Knowledge.

Yet there are many students who join MOOC like Coursera, Khan Academy, MITx, iUniversity or Stanford online just to quench the thirst of knowledge

Ask any employers this question they will say its knowledge, but the moment you say you have no formal college education or you are autodidact or you do it from MOOC they judge you and take you for a fool. Well expect companies like Google or AT&T they will hire you in spite of these.

The problem is we associate degree with knowledge, that is not the case at least with most of students. There are subjects or even a whole semester which  they clear and they don't have a clue how they did it.

Degree is just a recognition of the knowledge. 

For me there are three types of people

Only Degree and NO Knowledge

Only knowledge and No Degree 

Degree with knowledge

Which one of these are you ???