What is happiness?

                                                                Image Courtesy : Google Images

Webster tells us that happiness is "the emotion evoked by success or by the prospect of possessing what one desires." I wanted to complete some work today which I did and I was happy for about an hour for completing it. Then I wanted to eat a pizza, I ordered one and ate it. I was happy for some time.

It’s clear once we acquire something we wanted the happiness soon fades away and we are back to the dissatisfied self. Many say to be happy we have to give up our desire, giving up desire means giving up our life. We have to desire but for the right things.

Suppose I am a diabetic and all I desire is to eat sweet am I not a fool? The reason I am fool is I am desiring for the wrong thing, the very thing that can kill me. What is desire is equally important as desire itself.

The very nature of human comes from the soul and the very nature of the soul is “sat-chit-ananda” always happy at heart. And we look for it at all wrong places and things. It’s right inside us in our heart.

In ancient Vedas it is said “When you make the resolve, you become eligible immediately. When you maintain your eligibility through your deeds, you get the positive results in terms of happiness, achievements, satisfaction etc. When you see the positive results, your faith increases further and you enhance your deeds even more. When the faith becomes unflinching, you achieve the ultimate truth or bliss.”(Yajurveda 19.30)

It is hard no doubt about it but it’s totally worth it. Well who doesn't want to happy all we have to do take a higher route transcend the seven sins, have no attachment to worldly objects and the most Important loose our ego. Now we are good to go.

Let us all try and be happy truly happy.  

Stupid Heart

"The heart was made to be broken"

—Oscar Wilde

You are one of my favourite writer but seriously this is some serious BS. No one likes a broken heart not you or me or any person. But we have or shares of broken hearts and the special one is the first one, the one where we thought (most of us) this is the end of the world. I too had mine share.

During my first in year in junior college I was very serious about the studies (towards the start by the time in ended I was back to normal) and I sat with a bunch of people who were very eager to study or so I thought so I joined them on the first few benches.

The first few days we actually did some study later on we just ogled the girl’s row beside us. There were a particular group of three girls who I ogled the most and I developed a soft corner towards two of them. Luckily a couple of them opted for German as me so it gave me an opportunity to talk to them. Both of them were nice girl one was much more talkative and friendly than the other so I was more drawn to the other girl.

Every aspect of her physical character drew me towards her suntanned skin, narrower facial shape, slender figure longer and darker lashes & higher cheek bones. I confided this to one of the guys he added fuel to the fire saying you to would look good together and other such pretty stuff which makes you more attracted towards her.

This news had spread around our group and they started teasing me whenever I was around her particularly one guy.  A couple of weeks later I missed a few days of college on account of my health and they day I returned I was told she started dating one of my friends. Remember the guy who teased me the most; it was him.

Was it awkward? Yes it was. Was it awkward for a long time? No it was not. Why? Because she ditched him. Was I happy? Secretly yeah. A year passed were all in 12th grade now. I again started developing a soft corner towards her and again I confided it to one of my friend, who later starting dating her for a couple of months.

This became a pattern even when we were in Degree College. I didn’t want to be another martyr and kicked my feeling out. One day I did say to her about my feelings I HAD for her she smiled and so did I.

“Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.” 
― Kahlil Gibran


I was then I realised the wise words of Khalil Gibran none of them had any depth in it. It always takes the right girl/boy for us to understand the depth. If you ask if I understand what depth is now? I would say “Yes I do.”

When the eunuch chased us !!!!

     (Image Courtesy : Google search. I am thinking this would our face looked like while running for life :P )

This was one of the wacky and horrifying experience of childhood.

During school me and a friend of mine had a ritual, after the last day of the exam we used to treat ourselves and used to hang out before going home for the big break of two months. And we did this every year.

We were in fifth or sixth grade we finished our exams and ran towards the bus to get window seats. Sitting there we used to tease the losers who would follow us (those who didn't get the window seats), we felt like kings going home after a war. A war which we knew we have won. As the bus starts we played hand cricket (sounds kind of lame now, yet I admit I sometimes still play it). Ours was the last stop which gave us about forty-five minutes that was more than enough to complete a three to five match series.

We got down loitered for some time and were on our way to home. We grabbed a couple of cold samosas and a bottle of coke and relished them by the road laughing loud at stupid jokes and playing a game of farts ( who farts the most, yes it’s kind of sick now were eleven stop judging us :P ). A few of parents were accompanying their kindergarten children somewhere and they were looking at us with disgust and we gladly returned it.

The samosas were done and so was the coke now it was time for Popsicle/pepsi cola. We always bought this popsicle whenever either of us had some changes in the pockets. But today was the last day we wanted to go full scale so we needed ten five for each and we had just 5 bucks in over pockets, which will suffice to buy only 5 so a bit sad we went to get it. I handed the money to the shopkeeper and asked us to get it. He knew us quite well and asked me to take it from the fridge.

I didn't waste any time I knew this is the opportunity steal another five. I asked my friend to stand behind the freezer so I could “accidentally spill” a few to him. I opened it and dived in for the coldest one and our luck I got the best flavors (the one with milk in them) I didn't waste any time and passed it on to my friend. Who hid it inside his bag and moved away the looked at us I said I am not getting the flavor I want so he came and gave us the orange one. We took it and left the shop. We were so damn happy not because we stole 5 of the best but we conned the man. We sat by a building and had them.

After all the eating it was time for one last ritual go behind the building and just open the air valve of a couple of cycles. We went in by jumping a small wall into the parking space of the building selected a couple of cycles and took turns in opening the valve while the other stood on guard.

The last of the ritual was done it was time bid farewell and go home we will only meet after a gap of two months. We did our secret hand shake one of us I guess me missed one of the steps of the handshake. My buddy was pissed and just was about to leave he threw a pebble on me, it hit me hard. I retaliated with a bigger one and I missed, I threw again and again he dodged it. I took a bigger one and was about to throw it and he said “see a couple of eunuch standing behind you” (he used some slang for the word eunuch) and unfortunately they herd him and they headed towards us.

We didn't waste a micro second we ran towards his home (it was nearer than mine) and they too broke into a run. The distance was about two hundred meters which can reach easily under normal circumstances but we were on the clock now. At some point I outran him and that little shit dragged me back (till today he says he never did such an act) so were level again. The road was deserted as it was 2 in the noon and most of the people were either at their office or enjoying siesta. Somehow we managed to get inside his building now we have to run till the fourth floor. Those eunuch were right behind us. On the way up both of us banged a few doors so that some people would least see us and help us but we kept running not waiting to see if the doors were opened or not. I did open so the eunuch speed was considerably slowed almost at halt as many doors popped opened. We were victorious and we reached his home. And I called my mom and she reached then we recounted the tale to both of them skipping many parts. Both of us were still shaking that luckily helped us from not getting grounded. I was feeling safe with my mother and then left to my place.

Even after this incident we continued all our tradition till the last exam of our school life.

PS:

We are still in touch after 12 years of this incident and he is presently working in a Bank and getting a fat paycheck and he is single (He asked me not to mention all this still I am doing it) anyone want to meet him do contact me :P :P :P.

Also if I am not blogging tomorrow that’s because he have killed me. :P

Lots of love. Take care everyone.

The girl I met 5 times.

I was eleven, when I saw you first. Something in my chest was going bonkers that’s when I knew heart sometimes can act like crazy but I still didn't know why it was acting this way. Was it because of you? Or I was just dying. I didn't care which one was it as long as I was seeing you. I was just momentarily distracted by all this thought, but felt like I missed a lifetime without seeing you.

We were at the movie theatre  and I barely saw the movie all I want was to see you. I wanted us to talk but I didn't know what to say or how will you respond and above all I didn't wanted you to know I was staring at you. As the movie was ending I was feeling down. I didn't know when we are going to meet you again, that thought was killing me. After the movie we all went back and I was thinking about you for the remainder of the day. I soon forgot about you but occasionally I still thought of you.

It was almost a year later we met again. You have grown into a more beautiful girl, I still wonder how that was even possible? But it sure did, one of the many wonders of God I guess. You were more vibrant than ever. Your face was emitting some kind of glow making your face look angelic. I don’t know why but when you smiled I did along with you.

I had to wait for almost two years before I meet you again. This time it was different, you were no longer a small girl. You were slowly turning into a woman a beautiful woman. This time too we didn't talk. This time after going home I tried to find more about you, though I didn't much but I knew you love to read. I too started to read thinking this will bring us closer, it never did but id at least take my mind off you.

I waited for another two years before I met you again and then another one year for one more meeting. All of them were more or the same. I sat or walked around watching you while you were with your friends laughing and talking. I almost felt like a stalker though I never intentionally met you. Some of your habits were really amusing me. Like you tuck your hair on back of your ears as every time you make a sudden movement of your head it came down. Pull your ear when you are bored.

And after a gap of two and half year we met again and for the last time. I still remember how you looked, it was beauty personified. You were no longer a girl any more you were a woman. You wore a beautiful black dress, with your pixie haircut, a black handbag. This time we had a conversation. I accidentally (well by accidentally I mean purposefully) bumped into you and you dropped your bag. I said I am sorry and you retorted by saying it wasn’t mine fault and it was yours as you didn't look around while walking and you smiled and blew my mind and we walked apart.

It’s been 4 years that we last met. I still sometimes think and cherish these memories, it’s all that is left. Some times when I am at the mall I just take a look around to see if you are there and smile at myself for doing it. 

Where I divorced my parents :P

This is so far the best con I have ever pulled off. It happened about two years ago during one of the semester exams. If I recall correctly it was Mechanical Vibrations one of the toughest papers in Mechanical Engineering. The preparation done by me was mediocre, enough to scrape by a 40 or so I thought.

On the day of examination just to ensure we are covering all the necessary topics we (me and couple of my friends) decided to board an early morning train to our college even though the paper was to start by 3 pm. There was no place to sit in the whole of campus even the library was full. So we decided to go to the terrace and prepare for the paper.

For the first one hour it was great then as the day progressed I had a gut feeling that there is no use of studying and we are going to flunk the paper and I gave up but my comrades didn't. Another fifteen minutes passed I heard an enormous swear and I knew they too had given up. They started planning one of their night out plan which whisky to buy, how much should they buy, what should be the side dish to go along with it . I don't know about these things so I sat herd their various arguments had my lunch and prepared to be doomed.

It was almost three we were on our way down to check which classroom we are going to sit for the exam on way down many of our classmates were trying to mug up various formulas and other stuff. I smiled, somehow I knew the end result of the people who prepared and us was going to be same. We saw the list fortunately all of us were in the same room, the rooms beside the exam department.

The examiner came in with the answer sheets and the question papers and distributed to all the students in there. I glanced through the paper and then turned my heads towards my friends and then around the classroom the expression on each and every face was same a blank or vacant look everyone knew there was no in hell they are going to clear that paper. Yet as a desperate attempt they started to scribble the paper with what little they knew.

Meanwhile I was just waiting to get out of the room. Just so I won't sleep and to kill the time I started making logos of various cars on my question paper sheet and right about I finished my third figure of Mercedes the exam squad walked inside the class. I knew if they were going to see my sketch on paper I was screwed and I tried best to hide it, but alas!!! Luck didn't favour me the only paper they checked was mine. I was shouted at by the squad for being such irresponsible, at a point I lost my cool ad retorted by saying something and I was asked to leave the class and they took me to the examination department.

They opened my answer sheet only to find just one answer scribbled in and then followed by 38 blank pages. Shouting started again and said

"Give me your father's number."

Me: “He doesn't use a mobile."

They: "Then give his office number."

Me: "He is retired and he is at home."

They: "Give me your mothers' number."

Me: "There is no use calling her. They are not together anymore."

(This was where my whole con started. My mom is staying at our place in Kerala and I and my dad are here in Mumbai so technically speaking they were not together. But the on duty staff took it as they are divorced which is what exactly I wanted.)

The moment I said that I had a few tears in my eyes. The people in the room were stunned, hell even I was stunned. I knew I pulled it off, all that was left to do was apologize for my behaviour and I knew I will be walking out of the room scot free.

That exactly what happened. I was asked not to write that paper. None of my friends cleared this paper and neither did majority of other students. Till date this was the toughest paper for that subject.

PS: I apologize to the staff for doing such a thing but that was the only thing that would have saved me that day. Lots and love and respect to all of you.

First Year Engineering

This is perhaps the most memorable year of all Engineering students  from Mumbai University and from my college Yadavrao Tasgoankar Institute Of Engineering And Technology or now we say "Sabse Junnawala Tasgoankar" meaning oldest college in campus as there are 3 colleges in the campus. Its been 5 years after my First Year and I still remember it vividly each and every special moment.

Like most students I was an average student and pretty confident that I am easily going to complete my Degree and will pass out with flying colors..... I have never been so wrong in my whole life !!!  

I was well prepared for the first day of college got up early, wore what I thought would look great on me went to the nearby train station (Thakurli) quite for boarding the train (I was not that eager its just because if we miss a train there is no train for an hour or so). I was later joined by a few of my friends from my Junior College we all were pretty happy about opting for engineering. One of the guy was from Bio-Medical we made a bit fun of him as we all were feeling macho as were from Mechanical (The Bio-Med guy got the job first). In first year saw most of us enter with desire, determination and a willingness to work and learn (yes, imagining that I had ever felt that  is way absurd now). 

It was around an hour journey in train and we reached our destination Bhivpuri Road and walked for a few min to the bus stop. There was no sign of bus and it was getting crowded by the minute, right about that time a couple of bus came the crowd went wild just like a pack of hyenas as they drag in their prey. It was an absolute mayhem, we some how managed to get in the bus and grab a couple of seats too.

Bhivpuri during monsoon looks exotic there is greenery everywhere vast farmlands, huge waterfalls, a muddy river flowing and just besides the river was our college. It looked absolutely marvelous (and in around half hour we are going to learn looks can be pretty deceiving).

We went to the notice board where the class of each student is shown and alas mine and one of my friends name is not there in the whole list. We had to go to almost all the people starting from the office assistants to the principal to sort of this. 

Then the life became a hell lot of monotony college... pvt classes...home...sleepless nights for completion of assignments and yet somehow my assignments were never complete. At last it was semester I exams and the very first papers was Applied Maths I. My memory of this paper is blacked out all I could tell was three things

1) Examiner who was there was really a piece of work, he said you are going to fail in this paper to a couple of my friends during the duration of the examination 

2) I was exploring various function on my scientific calculator

3) I was damn sure I was going to fail

And it was during one of the papers I started playing a football after a longtime and still continue it.

A long 90+ day wait and it was result day I was confident I was going to clear all papers except Applied Maths I and I cleared for about half and hour. Later I was told I checked result of some other guy and I flunked in 5 of 6 papers.

I was devastated. There were many people who I thought of as retards cleared most of the papers. Then came the second semester all I did then was play football with my friends and I made my way to attendance defaulter's list. Our Professors asked us to donate books of those subjects in which we had low attendance. This led to an uproar among student and one of the guy organised a "STOP THE BUS" campaign we all went and stood on front of the bus not allowing it move an inch. This civil disobedience lasted for about half hour by then teachers had come and took the guy leading it to principals office needless to say the rest of us ran for our life and eventually brought our parents to our college.

Celebrated lot of days chocolate day,tie day, traditional day each day a very unique memory. Made many new friends. After the monotonous routine of College....Pvt Classes...Home...Sleepless Nights  it was semester II exams. I had 11 papers of which had to clear 7 or more to pass and go to to second year. I did everything i could yet managed only to clear 6 papers so that was it a long year in college followed by a gap year.Many of my friends scraped through into next year only to take a gap year after that.

This was how my  First Year Engineering ended though not a happy ending enjoyed every moment of it.

Dedicate to all my mates from my college making college life best part of life.   

Is blood really thicker than water ???

The proverb "blood is thicker than water" is used to imply that family ties (blood) are always more important (thicker) than the ties you make among friends (water). It generally means that the bonds of family and common ancestry are stronger than the bonds between unrelated people (such as friendship).

Is that really the case ??

I don't think so. For me my friends are my family well that doesn't mean I hate my family (both maternal and paternal sides) some of them I do hate.The propaganda that the members of family, some total stranger you share a fragment of your genes is more important rather than the other people in your life is nothing but a fallacy a well spread fallacy.If people think its true then...this is for you..

In major part of my life its my friends or so called water connections are the ones who have guarded my blind side than my relatives and its not anyone fault. We just have grown apart over the years. Thanks to social networking sites there is a slight chance we may come closer again.

But friends I can't imagine how it will be without them around, my world will be a hellhole without them and so will most peoples life.

"Friends are god's apology for relations"— Hugh Kingsmill
Completely agree with him.

Dedicated to all friends both old and new.